In a double interview, Frederick Lau and Michael Nast talk about the challenge of finding great love.Image: Instagram/ Michael Nasteexk.
"You can also feel when you have found the right woman": Frederick Lau and Michael Nast about "generation unable to relate"
29.07.2021, 17:0915.08.2021, 11:14Imke GerrietsFolgenMehr «Unterhaltung»DschungelcampNach Versöhnung im Dschungelcamp: Eric Stehfest nimmt plötzlich Entschuldigung zurückDschungelcamp100.000 Euro Bonus: Das plant Filip mit seinem Dschungelcamp-Gewinn"DSDS": Fußball-Profi schickte seine Schwester zum CastingRTL-Moderatorin Lola Weippert landete im Krankenhaus – das ist der GrundNetflix-Regisseur verspricht: In Staffel 2 von "All Of Us Are Dead" dreht er alles umWhen Michael Nast published his non-fiction book "Generation unable to relationship" in 2016, he probably had no idea that it will be found in the "Spiegel" bestseller list for over 46 weeks and will even secure the top position for eleven weeks.From the inability to be able to tie up, the cinema film of the same name has now been created on 29.July starts.Michael's work naturally served as a source of inspiration.Frederick Lau takes over the main role of the figure Tim in the love comedy.
In an interview with Watson, Frederick and Michael talk about why many are not looking for love, but rather prefer non-binding, explain what they think about dating apps and compare their view of a relationship.
Watson: Michael, you had an amazing success with your book published in 2016.It was eleven weeks in the "Spiegel" bestseller list alone.Has anything changed in five years in dating?Instagram was not as big as it is today.
Michael Nast: It's worse, not more complicated.In the meantime it has become a lifestyle with the unfulfilled love.The basic problem is that people are not looking for a partner with whom they want to build a deep relationship, but they are looking for the perfect partner.With the dating apps or Instagram you always see any photos that never stop.That is why you stay in such a non -binding.The problem is, love is a decision and people don't decide.Many singles just think about them and want to wait until it sparks.
Frederick Lau: I also believe that of course you always have a stimulus overload.
"Ich denke, dass es etwas mit trauen zu tun hat, was nur die wenigsten machen."How do you mean?
Frederick: According to the motto: here and there you can still keep something open.This is an eternal cycle and then you practically missed the train.I think it has something to do with trust that very few do.If you are in this cycle, it will be difficult to say that I choose a specific person and dare to give more than just this superficiality.
Michael: This is also a self -deception.I also thought for years, I'm a big romantic, I'm looking for the perfect dream woman.
Frederick: I knew that beforehand that it was not that with you.(laughs)
Michael: In the end it was the case that I didn't get involved.I thought I was looking for a long -term relationship, but I was only concerned with having sex with woman.Then the interest was gone after two or three times.You should also wake up.The bad thing is, I thought all the time, I'm looking for great love, but it wasn't yet it.If you are looking for a perfect person, then you are never to blame, it is always the others.Then you don't have to change yourself.I created this label with it and now everyone could say, great, everyone is like that.
Despite this there is a counter trend, the so -called beauty ideals are being discussed.Is that also transferred to the real dating world?
Michael: I don't know.You are rarely the one you think.It took me five years to be clear about it first.It may also be a maturation process and an age question.And above all it is work.
Frederick: I also believe that it is work.The important thing is that what Micha already said that you don't look at yourself all the time, but also, even when you give love, you can also get it back.You are sometimes too fixed, too egomaniac.If you have the knowledge, you may also notice how beautiful it is to give.You get exactly what you scream into the forest.
Michael: The Harvard University was the most successful seminar on happiness.There was a point and it was called "give".That already fulfills one in itself.We live in a strange envy, where we have forgotten to be able to look forward to others too.If you can still do that, then you are very happy.
Frederick: I'm happy.(laughs)
"Ich denke, umso älter du wirst, umso schwieriger wird es, ganz neu in etwas reinzugehen und sich für den Menschen zu interessieren."The film "generation unable to relationship" is about not wanting to tie yourself, possibly because of this, so as not to be disappointed.The dating apps become important tools.How happy are you, Frederick, that you don't wipe yourself through Tinder how many from your generation to jump from one date to the next?
Frederick: I'm totally happy that I found the right way.Of course I also see that with friends.Basically it is always a single search.I firmly believe that you get any more damage from every partner.That means you continue to deal with the injuries, she questions.But you have to go into a relationship and put all the doubts and packages that you are already using, which is not so easy.I think, the older you get, the more difficult it is to go into something completely new and to be interested in people.This happens out of self -protection and of course out of fears that you shoulder.
Michael: After a separation, an injury follows.Then you start to develop strategies or lists as a dream woman is.One does not want to be hurt, is afraid of attachment and does not get any further.In the first part of the book, this Tinder text is also.Then a guy says, I still have two tinder dates, one is two hours later, if the first is nothing.I thought back then, age, that couldn't be true.That was with you, Freddy, at the inauguration party, there was a buddy.
Darum geht es in "Generation Beziehungsunfähig"
Kinostart: 29. Juli 2021Wie viele andere Singles seines Alters hat Tim (Frederick Lau) Schwierigkeiten, sich fest zu binden. Als Grund führt er an, dass er wohl beziehungsunfähig sei und aufgrund dessen Dates anstatt das wirkliche Kennenlernen bevorzugt. Als er auf Ghost (Luise Heyer) trifft, wird ihm sein eigenes Verhalten schlagartig vor Augen geführt, denn sie hat so gar keine Lust auf romantische Annäherungsversuche."Das Geile ist, wir haben damals schon immer rumgeflachst, wie es wäre, wenn er die Rolle übernimmt."The film says: "The thing with love is pitiful, everyone is looking for them, but hardly anyone finds them."Would you sign it like that, Michael?
Michael: People don't look for love, that's the problem.They are looking for the intoxication of falling in love, see this as love because it is told in the stories, but they are just in love.We got very betrayed.That's how I was for years.I want the feeling that I want the perfect partner who triggers this and if this falling in love after a certain time, then the worm is in and you think that it has to be on the partner and not because of yourself.
Michael, Frederick plays the role of the TIM in the film and will probably have many parallels to your life.How is that for you?
Michael: I think it's great that the story comes from my foundation.I see myself again especially in the first ten minutes of the film.I don't know if these are coincidences because the story is independent.The horny is, we have always laughed around at the time as it would be if he took on the role.You also said in an interview, if I play Michael, then I have a few years to research this.And so it came too.
Hier ist Frederick Lau in seiner Rolle als Tim zu sehen.Bild: 2021 Warner Bros. Ent.Frederick: The role is very different than Michael is.But still I think it's really nice that we are now sitting together here as buddies and friends and bringing it onto the stage.Who would have thought?
Frederick, you are a father, have been with Annika since 2013, in 2015 you married.Actually you are the complete opposite of Tim.How much of you is there in your role, are there in common?
Frederick: I used to go on a lot at night, so I already know my way around.But I'm not a guy for dating apps, I've never tired or something.I saw that a lot with my friends when they got news all the time.I always find that interesting and look at it.Basically, such apps are also completely legitimate, but I am aware that it is actually not the answer.It shows any interchangeability.You no longer know how it really works.
Michael: Ultimately, self -protection is the case that you simply wip up 100 women so as not to be injured.Then I can't get rejections.You don't want to be hurt, but then you get lost in the wrong one.
"Ich mache das dann und bin in verschiedenen Hinsichten ziemlich angstfrei, um ehrlich zu sein.""Generation" is about the phase of falling in love, which can be very fast -moving.The aspect of a sincere love, which is not so fast -moving, is treated less.
Michael: Even if this is a summer love story, it is ultimately the case that this woman evades him and then fought for attention.I am someone who always needs this fight.Then they come together and then the work starts.Stories with a happy ending are unfinished stories.Nowadays a relationship can only go for half a year or four months.
Bei dieser Szene lernen sich Tim (Frederick Lau) und Ghost (Luise Heyer) kennen.Bild: 2021 Warner Bros. Ent.Frederick: I think it is proven that what you feel for the other is 100 percent at the beginning.That is why it is also called the darn seventh year.After seven years you are almost at zero.Therefore, I am convinced that it is very important to discover new things together, to experience adventure to maintain a connection.
Michael: Create shared experiences.This is always important in every relationship.
Frederick: Yes, exactly.
Frederick, you became a father for the first time at the age of 24 and found your great love in Annika.Most of this age don't think about starting their own family.Have you been to the right place at the right time?
Frederick: Yes, at the right time in the right place, you can say that.(laughs) Es ist so passiert, wir wollten eigentlich erst ein halbes oder ein Jahr später anfangen.You can also feel when you have found the right woman.I am always quite good at making big decisions.I do that and in different ways I am pretty fearless to be honest.
Michael: I am exactly the opposite pole in many things.However, I can always make decisions quite well when I see that there are people who do not do me mentally.That doesn't just refer to women.I can quickly say that it was for me.But these are ultimately escaping.When making decisions, I am also a lot of afraid of changes.
Frederick: The fear of the uncertain.
Michael: I was convinced for a long time that I can only become a father in an accident.I had that a few years ago, since one said to me, she can't meet because she is now in the third or fifth month pregnant.I then counted back and dealt with it.So I wouldn't get with her, but of course I would take care of the child.But then I wasn't the father.
Frederick, your wife Annika can be seen again on "breakfast television" and has to go to sleep at 8 p.m. because the alarm clock rings again in the middle of the night.When she works, take care of your three children.How is this currently being designed?
Frederick: I flew from Berlin to Munich this morning.The alarm clock has 2.30 a.m., although it would not have been necessary.I thought it was mine, I got ready and then I only realized that it was her alarm clock.Because it stands by 2.30 a.m. on.She forgot to exhibit it.I am currently free, we are doing a lot of nonsense together.My daughter is already on vacation.I am very happy about the situation and Annika comes home again at noon.
"Ich glaube, sie freut sich schon, wenn ich mir hier und da was einfallen lasse."In the film there are also one or the other piquant scene with the actress Luise Heyer.Do you find such scenes difficult?Then your wife closed her eyes or is she relaxed when you can be seen in such scenes?
Frederick: That is part of the job.We already have some sex scenes in the film.We practically made a sex day where all sex scenes are just thrown together.(laughs) Meine Frau weiß ja, dass ich sie liebe, die kennt das, sie ist quasi damit aufgewachsen.(laughs) Das ist auch alles total technisch und nicht anders, als ein Gespräch oder einen Dialog zu drehen.
If you are in a long -term partnership, everyday life can quickly catch up with you.What was the last thing you did to surprise your partner?
Frederick: There are many little things.It is smart if you don't hang the crossbar from the start.For example, she is already happy when I make the bed.(laughs) Es ist aber schon so, dass ich ihr immer etwas Kleines mitbringe.I've always been happy to surprise you.That is also part of it.I think she is happy when I come up with something here and there.I mean embellishing with things or I say, come, let's do that.I surprise you with it.
Or just take time for two to escape everyday life.
Frederick: We actually take time for each other every evening, even if they usually fall asleep.(laughs) Uns ist es auch total wichtig, zusammen zu sein, weil sonst lebt man aneinander vorbei.We don't feel like that.
Michael: The cool thing is when we are at Annika, we are on the release day of the film together on "breakfast television" and Annika interviews us.
Frederick: It's going to be funny, I'm curious to see how it will be.We don't need to keep a distance because we are a household.
"Für Leute, die von vielen Menschen umgeben sein müssen, muss es ganz schlimm gewesen sein."Speaking of Corona: Filming for the film started in February 2020, shortly afterwards the first lockdown came.How did you get through pandemic?
Frederick: We had to interrupt the film and wait for what happens.Half a year later we resumed filming under restrictions such as mask obligation.Of course, this is strange when you are on the set and the people don't see properly.That was a problem.In private I was at home a lot, which of course is also nice.So I could spend the whole day with my kids.With work it became a little less.
Michael: I had nothing to do with the production of the film.I found that interesting as an experiment.I have withdrawn extra.A story was developed from the foundation of my book.I didn't want to talk to Freddy about it because then you already start saying that you have to do that and such.Corona has improved my quality of life privately.
Frederick: Real, yes?
Michael: It had the advantage that I wrote the second part of the book.Without this book, without the knowledge of it, I would not have got together with my girlfriend - even if I am now single again.Because I was of course at home, I got a distance to my life, which I had led until then.I am someone who can be good alone.For people who have to be surrounded by many people, it must have been very bad.
Many artists made the alarm and had to worry about orders.Was there a point where you had fears of existence?
Frederick: No, so I was spared by fears of existence.Prevention was nevertheless turned.But of course that is something completely different.We are all happy if we can turn properly again.We were constantly tested and had to keep the distances.You missed the closeness to other people, especially when you are a physical person.There is currently a big obstacle.Micha is not so sociable as far as touching is concerned, I will bring him that.(laughs)
Did you draw conclusions from pandemic for your own life?
Frederick: The good thing is, I think what Micha has already indicated that you could reflect differently because you had the time for it.I could see where it was going on, what my plans and goals I can pursue.This means that I can open myself up again for something new.Musicians, for example, can finally work on their albums again.If there is a negative mood or vulnerability due to the pandemic, the best things can arise from it.
"Ich bin nämlich genau das Gegenteil von Michael, also nicht der Typ, der gut allein sein kann."Everyone spends more time at home during Corona.Has this changed the relationship with your partner and your family and friends?
Frederick: If you spend so much time at home, of course you notice a lot more.You see everything more clearly, want to beautify yourself again, change something here and there to ultimately create your happy place.I am a person who has always traveled a lot, has been outside a lot.It was also good for me not to have to get out all the time.
So you could take care of yourself intensively.
Frederick: You have pruded yourself on yourself or focused on what was there.I am also calmer and have become more satisfied with myself.Because I am exactly the opposite of Michael, not the guy who can be good alone.In this respect you always learn to do so.I think you always have to take it all as a test and try to improve.
Michael: I can no longer recognize my apartment.I still have the bed, but otherwise everything is different.On the subject of relationships with other people: I had a huge circle of acquaintances.That has reduced so much.I now have three or four people who are left of it.If we don't see each other, we play together at least an hour every day.
